Reflection and the Third Part in a Series of Balances

So, I thought I'd get on and drain my brain of all thought. I'm tired of thinking all the time. I want to do something that doesn't require me to think. Sadly that doesn't exist.

My stance in this life of mine is shaky at best right now. If only I could rest for a while. I am weary from my journey. I am weary of my journey. Though there are many good things going on (ballroom dancing and keeping in touch with my younger siblings) there is still this looming shadow that I can't escape. It extends from my past and covers my present. I can't see what the future holds.

Everything is so uncertain right now. Maybe my focus is in the wrong place. Everything makes sense that way. That must be it. My focus was too broad or is too broad.

I've been so intent on building a base around me I have forgotten to build directly beneath me. And everyone knows what that leaves... oh, come on, you know... it leaves a big hole in the floor. One of which I seem to stay in... often. That, my friends, needs to change.

But isn't that the trick, trying to balance how much time you spend building yourself and how much you spend building around others. Both are necessary. Without a firm foundation to stand on one falters. Without friends to lean on from time to time one is prone to fall. If you spend too much time on yourself you become selfish, self-serving, conceited and if you spend all your time on others you neglect yourself. You rob yourself of the very basics of survival. You eventually forget how to stand on your own and with that lose your foundation, thus lost. And "How," you ask, "do you balance this?" Well, I don't know yet. I just figured out this balance existed. I didn't see it before. Apparently my near-sightedness isn't just physical.

Until next time.